Another week has gone by. We have a big beef carcass hanging in our pole barn needing to be cut up and packaged for our freezer. We raised it, so it was a project we knew we would need to get done during these cold months.

Our minds are far from our work, but life goes on. Daughter Susan and children are coping the best they can and miss their husband and daddy so much. Little Jennifer will be three on January 15th. She is very aware that her daddy still hasn’t come home and wants to be held and cuddled a lot. There is a void in their lives. Little Ryan gave Susan a scare when he had a seizure Sunday morning from a high fever. The doctor came, and Ryan has the start of bronchitis but is being treated with a nebulizer and is getting better every day.

Sister Emma and Jacob hosted church services at their house. I was unable to go as I felt daughter Susan needed my help with 1-year-old Ryan. She gets even more scared now when her little ones get sick.

Also, early Sunday morning I got a call from sister Susan’s doctor telling us she has been transferred to the Indianapolis University Hospital in Indianapolis, IN, as they weren’t equipped to care for her anymore. Now sister Verena isn’t allowed to visit her at all. It is so hard to have her 3 1/2 hours away and no one allowed to see her. She’s still not breathing on her own. Doctors did get the bleeding to stop again several times after she started bleeding again. All this has taken its toll on her body. She has been given many units of blood. She is still sedated at the time of this writing. Doctors tell us she is very ill but tell us no tumor or aneurysm was found and they are puzzled at where the bleeding is coming from. This is Day 11 and she’s been in three different hospitals. Please pray for her and also for my other sister, Verena. Sisters Verena and Susan were never married and live 1/2 a mile from us. They have lived together all their lives. Verena is really lost without Susan around. Also pray for the rest of us so God can give us the strength we need to help everyone. This week daughter Verena, 23, is staying with her aunt, my sister Verena. Daughter Lovina, 16, is staying with daughter Susan. My work isn’t getting done as fast but daughter Lorreta, 20, is doing the best she can to help. So is Kevin, 15, but he said his hands are getting too soft from washing dishes and helping with the laundry. His teasing and jokes keep our thoughts away from the grief at times. He misses Mose a lot as Mose always helped him to do things he can’t with his handicap. Kevin is good at hiding his pain.

As my boys (Benjamin, 21, and Joseph,18) walk out that door each morning around 4:30 a.m. I think more of the goodbyes we say on rushed mornings. We never know when it will be the last time we see a loved one. With sister Susan in the hospital so ill all we can do is turn to our Heavenly Father for help. Without comfort from Him where would we be.

I want to again thank readers for their outpouring of support. Daughter Susan and our family really appreciate all of you. Our church members have been such a support as well.

Monday daughter Susan and children were still here. She came here Sunday morning after Ryan had that seizure. Dan’s widow Jodi came over and we had coffee break together once again, talking about their husbands who were killed in the accident. Sharing memories helps them keep them alive in their hearts.

This morning I went through another stack of cards from readers. So many nice letters and cards supporting us!

Daughter Susan will have her 25th birthday on January 24th. Mose’s birthday would have been February 5th. They always shared their birthdays 11 days apart. Then when Jennifer was born January 15th they had another birthday close to theirs to celebrate. This year will be different. Let go—let God! I wish all of you good health and happiness and most of all God’s blessings.

Coffee and Cream Brownies

1/2 cup butter, cubed
3 squares (1 ounce each) unsweetened chocolate, chopped
1 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
2/3 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon baking soda

Filling:

1 tablespoon cream
1 level teaspoon instant coffee
2 tablespoons butter, softened
1 cup powdered sugar

Glaze:

1 cup (6 ounces) semi-sweet chocolate chips
1/3 cup cream

Melt butter and chocolate in saucepan over low heat. Cool slightly. In a small mixing bowl beat sugar, eggs, and vanilla, and stir in chocolate mixture. Add flour and baking soda. Spread in greased 8-inch square pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 25 to 30 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean. Do not overbake. Cool.

For filling, stir coffee granules into cream until dissolved. Add butter and powdered sugar, stirring until mixture is smooth. Spread over brownies.

In saucepan over low heat, combine chocolate chips and cream and stir until chocolate is melted. After cooling slightly, carefully spread over filling. Let stand 30 minutes or until glaze is set.

Lovina’s Amish Kitchen is written by Lovina Eicher, Old Order Amish writer, cook, wife, and mother of eight. Her newest cookbook, Amish Family Recipes, is available wherever books are sold. Readers can write to Eicher at PO Box 1689, South Holland, IL 60473 (please include a self-addressed stamped envelope for a reply); or email [email protected] and your message will be passed on to her to read. She does not personally respond to emails.